Oli and I were walking from 53rd and 3rd to the lower east side last Friday, brown bagging a couple of shoulders of Jack D. We started talking about girl stuff, and as such, the topic of acting Emo came up. We all do it. It's annoying, but entirely natural- just like the time I ate a pound of frosted mini spooners and had to spend the next few hours with Ms. Pearlman.

So what's the best way to cure the emos?

1. Porn

You must wank early and often to fight off the emos. Porn can be used as a preventative measure as well. If you have ever experienced phenomena such as a wet dream or creaming your pants, you are not wanking enough. Wanking can be done lefty or righty, or fleshlighty, but should not be performed using an animal. Wanking provides temporary relief to emo, headaches, and blue balls.

2. Pooping or talking about pooping

Create a BM diary- describe the shape, size, color, smell, texture, and taste of your most recent movement. Some enthusiasts add pictures, as well.

3. ?????


Add ideas as they come to you